ALL BARK, ALL BITE

02

 







Dear Michael, 

Some days grief comes at me like a dog with its teeth bared. It snarls and tears and it knows exactly where to bite. 

It waits until I’m okay only to kick the door in. It’s loyal like a curse, a sick reminder that I love you so hard, but is slowly killing me in the process.

Grief is fucked up proof that I love you like breathing, but now I’m choking on the air you left behind.    

If the depths of this grief is what I get for loving you so deeply, then I know I have loved well. 

Grief made a weapon out of me. I used to flinch like a mouse. But now I’m all bark, all bite.  

Instead of bearing its weight, I’m burning it like a fire. You live in the way I refuse to stop. 

I still laugh with a hollow chest and shaking hands. I still shout even though silence would cost me less.  

You are the beauty through which I came to know about this world, so how can I hate it if you are of it? 

Surviving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it’s the only way I know how to keep loving you.  

Happy 29th Birthday my treasure.

Your sweetheart,  

Jessica


 








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